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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

4A

Do you know some inspiring single people? What is it about their lives that you find inspiring?

What are some of the difficulties and challenges of being single in society today?

What other ideas or questions strike you from this part of the film?

 

4B

What are some of the difficulties and challenges of being single in the Church today?

What are some of the joys, blessings and opportunities of being single today?

What other ideas or questions strike you from this part of the film?

 

KEY IDEAS FROM THE FILM

There are many reasons why someone is single. Some people are happily single. Some are single and searching. Some are single and suffering. Some have consciously embraced lifelong celibacy. Some are living a kind of consecrated life in the world. But here’s the first and most important truth: if you are single now, your life now has immense value. Your vocation today is to love; to live your faith; to become holy in the middle of your actual life – work, friendships, family responsibilities, service. You are not “on hold” until something more “real” starts.

When I worked with students, many felt that life hadn’t truly begun yet. They thought their “real vocation” would start after exams, or after they found a spouse, or after everything settled. I kept reminding them: your Christian vocation began at your baptism. Christ is calling you now, not just in some imagined future.

But can the single state itself be a vocation? In many cases, yes – but we should speak carefully. We shouldn’t just label every single person as “having the single vocation”, because many single people are actively discerning marriage, priesthood, religious life, etc. It’s better to say this: the single state can be a true vocation when it’s either (a) freely chosen as a stable way of life in response to God’s call, or (b) humbly accepted in difficult or limiting circumstances, and offered to God in love.

Let’s look at some situations.

1. Just getting on with life. You’re single, you’re content, you’re busy, you’re not in crisis, you’re not lying awake every night worrying. Good. Be grateful. Be faithful. Be open. Live your faith generously now, and every so often ask God: “Is there anything else you’re asking of me?”
2. You’re open to marriage, or you feel drawn to priesthood or consecrated life, but you haven’t found clarity yet. Don’t panic. Keep discerning. Keep praying. Keep moving forward when there’s a sensible next step. But don’t believe the lie that happiness is only in the future. God wants you to live fully now.
3. You long not to be single, but you can’t see a way forward. Maybe you can’t find the right person. Maybe you’ve explored priesthood or consecrated life and been told no. Maybe you are caring for a sick parent or child, and you can’t take on anything else. Maybe you’re separated from your spouse, with no clear path to reconciliation or annulment, and it feels like you’re living a single life you didn’t choose. There can be real heartbreak here. Christ is very close to that pain. He asks you not to despair, not to think your life is meaningless. Your vocation, here and now, is to carry this cross with him, to love as best you can in these circumstances, and to trust that he is working even through suffering.
4. Freely embracing celibacy in the world. Some single people have, in effect, chosen lifelong celibacy, even without taking formal vows. They offer their freedom to God and to others. They commit to a life of prayer, service, and charity. If you have made that kind of personal commitment, and you live it sincerely, this can be a beautiful vocation in itself. It may or may not last forever – circumstances can change – but it is real.
5. Consecrated single life. Some people make public vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, while still living and working in the world. This is consecrated life in the strict sense. The Church recognises this as a stable, lifelong vocation.

Wherever you are: don’t fall into fear. Padre Pio used to say, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.” Trust that God is leading you. Do what you can; seek his will; live your faith with integrity; and then place everything – especially your future – in his hands. Entrust your life and your vocation every day to the Blessed Virgin Mary. She knows you, personally. Ask her each evening to pray for you and to guide you. She never abandons her children.

[This is an AI generated summary of the film script]