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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

4A

Why is it often hard to say sorry to others or admit our mistakes? What gets in the way?

Do you think that society today encourages forgiveness and compassion?

Did you learn about the sacrament of confession as a child? What do you remember?

What other ideas or questions strike you from this part of the film?

 

4B

Why do we often find it hard to say sorry to God? What holds us back?

How has the Sacrament of Confession helped you in your life? (But please don’t mention your actual sins!)

Why is it hard to stop sinning and live a good life? What gets in the way?

What other ideas or questions strike you from this part of the film?

 

KEY IDEAS FROM THE FILM

The focus of Christianity is not sin; it’s Jesus, and the salvation that he brings us. But an essential part of the Christian faith is our knowledge that we are sinners in need of God’s mercy. We have failed to love God and to love our neighbour as we should. We are constantly aware of our weaknesses and failures. And we know that we are unable, by our own strength, to put things right or to become the people we want to be.

The joy of Christianity is the knowledge that the God of love is also a God of mercy. Jesus forgives us our sins and helps us to live a new life for God. His death and resurrection mark the ultimate defeat of sin, even if we still struggle with its effects in our lives. Everything has changed.

There is a really useful word in the Christian tradition: contrition. Contrition is when we have a genuine sorrow for our sins, and a sincere desire to change and make a new start.

So it involves both sorrow and conversion. It flows from our love for God, and our sadness that we have turned away from him, as well as from realising how much damage we have done to ourselves and to others.

True contrition is a gift of the Holy Spirit, and for that reason we need to pray for it. Just as we pray for a deeper faith or for more love, we can pray for the gift of contrition.

True contrition leads to confession with a small “c”, saying sorry to God in our personal prayer. We need to put things into words, admit what we have done wrong, and ask for God’s forgiveness. We are like the tax collector in the parable who couldn’t lift his eyes to heaven but simply said, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” (Luke 18:13). He was the one, Jesus says, who went home at peace with God.

And true contrition leads to Confession with a capital “C”, to the Sacrament of Penance, the Sacrament of Confession or Reconciliation. Many people don’t realise the staggering effects of God’s mercy in confession.

First, it brings forgiveness, absolution. The sins of our past are completely wiped away, forgotten, forever. We walk away from confession without shame, with the innocence and purity of a child. We are walking, as St Paul says, in the light and not in the darkness.

Second, it brings healing. Healing for our own hearts, damaged by sin. And healing for all the relationships that have been harmed by our sin. We are reconciled with God and with the Church. This is such a consolation for us – to know that God can heal and put right the damage we may have done to others, if we bring it to him in confession.

And third, the sacrament gives us the grace to live a life of holiness. In other words, confession is not just about absolving the past, it’s also about strengthening us in the present, and allowing a new future to unfold. In those particular areas of darkness that we confess, those personal struggles, God’s grace can work in a powerful new way.

In this sacrament we open our hearts to the Lord, telling him very simply and very honestly what we have done wrong. We express our sorrow and our desire to make a new start. And Jesus himself, through the ministry of the priest, gives us his forgiveness.

There are slight differences in the way priests celebrate the sacrament of confession, and they will sometimes introduce different prayers and scripture readings.

Before you start, spend a few minutes preparing to make your confession: Pray for God’s help and guidance. Examine your conscience. Remember any sins you have committed (write them down if it helps). Pray for God’s forgiveness. It is our duty to mention in confession all our serious (or ‘mortal’) sins. We are also encouraged to mention some of our other smaller (or ‘venial’) sins and everyday faults, but we don’t need to list every minor failure. If you are not sure what to say or do, don’t worry – tell the priest, and ask him to help you as you begin.

During the confession, be simple and straightforward. Just put into words what you have done wrong since you last went to confession. Don’t make excuses, but if it helps, say a little bit about what happened and why. When you have finished, say: “I am sorry for all these sins and the sins of my past life”.

The priest might then talk to you and give you some advice. He will give you a penance to do (a prayer or action that expresses your sorrow and your desire to live a new life). He priest will then ask you to make an Act of Contrition. Say one you know, or use the following one: “O my God, because you are so good, I am very sorry that I have sinned against you; and I promise that with the help of your grace, I will not sin again. Amen.” The priest then says the prayer of absolution, which includes the words, “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” This is the moment when God forgives your sins.

If it is possible, pray your penance in the church before you leave; for example, if you have been asked to say a certain prayer, kneel down and say it now. Pray for a moment in thanksgiving, for the forgiveness you have received in this sacrament, and pray for God’s help to live a new life. It’s kind to pray for the priest who has just heard your confession. You might feel relieved and peaceful and full of joy. Or you might feel dry and empty. It doesn’t really matter. Don’t be over-concerned with your feelings. What matters is that you have been forgiven. The Lord has touched you through the sacrament of confession and given you new life. You now have a peaceful conscience and you have been reconciled with God and with the Church.