Click here to watch the film.

The films in this series about Parenting and Family Life are accessible to anyone who has a SycamorePlus subscription.

If you do not yet have a subscription, please subscribe here, or visit our SycamorePlus page to find out more.

If you already have a subscription but are not logged in, please login to your account here.

 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

 

7A Discipline and Boundaries

• What did you find helpful or interesting in this section of the film?
• What are the most important moral values you try to pass on to your children? How do you do that? What seems to work and what can make it difficult?
• Which rules or boundaries are most important for your family? Which ones are you more flexible about and why?

 

7B Chastity and Sex Education

• What did you find helpful or interesting in this section of the film?
• What can help children to have healthy relationships and a healthy self-esteem?
• What are the negative influences on children today in the areas of chastity and sexuality?
• How can parents help their children have a proper Christian understanding of relationships, marriage and sex?

 

SOME KEY IDEAS FROM THE SESSION

Most of us, when we think about education, think of school, and of course that’s a big part of the week for most children. But the biggest educational influence on children, without a doubt, comes from their parents. The things that you teach them, your example, the conversations you have with them, the conversations that you have with others,, the values that you uphold: all of this forms your child and marks them more than the many hours they spend in a classroom.

It’s a great gift, to have such an influence on another human being; and it’s a great responsibility too. How can you pass on to your children the values that you believe in? How can you bring the best out of them, and help them to grow in love and goodness and holiness?

Children need rules, boundaries and routines – at every age – even if they change over time, even if they sometimes need to be broken. They give children security. They help them to know right from wrong. They allow them to appreciate the deeper values that lie behind the rules. And they make family life easier and more peaceful.

One of your greatest responsibilities as a parent is to decide what kind of behaviour and language will be acceptable in your children. And to insist on this, firmly and lovingly. Mothers and fathers need to agree that they will require the same boundaries, so that children don’t play one parent off against the other.

Children and families need a moral framework, and the Catholic faith can help to provide this. It’s important to insist on a core morality in your family life: For example, telling the truth, respecting others, being honest, offering forgiveness, etc. And to discourage gossip, bad language, dirty jokes, immodest clothing etc.

If children ask questions or talk about sex or sexual issues, it doesn’t usually help to run away from these topics. It’s best to speak to them naturally and without embarrassment. But also to decide what kind of information is appropriate for their age. Sometimes it is good to give an age-appropriate answer to a direct question, especially if they have seen or heard something somewhere else, and you know it is really puzzling them. Although sometimes it may be better to sidestep an issue, to preserve their innocence.

If parents are clear about their own values, they will be able to pass them on to their children: That sex is a beautiful gift that should be kept for marriage. That all people, adults and children, should seek to have a purity of heart and mind and speech. That this gift of ‘chastity’, even if the word itself is not heard very often, is something to be honoured and valued in family life.

There is a lot of pressure from some sections of society to overload children with information about sex and relationships at an early age. Your role is to work out, as far as possible, what is appropriate and helpful for them at their particular age.

Your school will have some kind of sex education as part of its SRE or PSHE programmes. It is your right and responsibility as parents to ask the head teacher to see the content of these materials. If you feel they are not suitable for your children, you should ask about the school policy on withdrawal, and think carefully about how to explain this to your child. If you feel these sex education materials at school are not suitable in general for children of this age, you should politely discuss this with the head teacher, and with like-minded parents.